My First Happy Hour/ Why I Hate Politics

Why I hate Politics

By: The Chronic Daydreamer

I went to my first Happy Hour this past Friday- had a wonderful time! Great company, and what started out as good conversation. We talked about work, we talked about our lives outside of school, we talked about plans for the weekend. These I am convinced, are all fantastic topics for happy hour. I would venture to say the other side of the table stuck to those. Myself, having never been to happy hour, had no defense against the topics that would plague this otherwise fabulous outing. And I promise, on all other accounts, it was FABULOUS.

In order to give you the full experience , I must stay true to the inconsistency of our conversation patterns, and many of my thoughts behind it.

Perhaps had the news not been on, we wouldn't have seen that Clinton accepted as Secretary of State. Bars are no place for politics, as I learned in bartending school. Well, actually, let me rephrase. Bartenders are supposed to stay out of conversations regarding politics, sports, and other touchy right side/ left side topics. The general public has no responsibility to choose their topics wisely. Anyhow, it got us into a topic of whether or not Clinton would accept it and how people felt about it, blah blah. Aside from being aware of politics, I'm not a fan of politics. People get so caught up on how far left, right, conservative, liberal they are on issues, that the issues themselves get lost in the mix. Some agreed that they didn't think Clinton would take it because of the lack of power she would possess in comparison to the position she originally ran for. I thought she'd accept, and the issue of her not being chosen for vice president and who voted for who came up. By the way, in just one happy hour, I've decided that these are NOT good happy hour topics.

Then there was the issue of race and gender and the presidential ticket, and how surely America was more open to a Black Male president than a White Female President, and then how Black Men were "given" the right to vote before Women were. {I then argued that the African American vote was not truly "protected" by law until the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which came 45 years after the 19th Amendment giving Women the right to vote (thanks, Schoolhouse Rock!). I think my point was..."please don't compare being Black in this country to being a Woman. Yes, we can draw parallels in both groups' struggle with inequality, but let's not forget that some of us...a very large number of us, fall into both categories (guess who?!). Sure, they overlap, but they are two very distinct categories and experiences.

Then there was the question of whether not race is still that big of an issue in America, and how that related to the election. I guess the hate crimes against people of both parties, assassination attempts, talk of whether Obama was "Black Enough" (race isn't just Black and White)," questioning Obama's birthplace (because I'm pretty sure there wasn't much talk about where McCain was born), and a slew of other media/ party slants (from BOTH sides) wasn't proof enough that race was still an issue. Oh, and let's not forget the countless conversations about why Black people shouldn't vote for Obama just because he's Black. I guess there were a lot of people who didn't think that there were Black people voting for him because they were, I don't know, following his campaign or...agreeing with his proposed policies? AHEM AHEM neverfindout.org. AHEM AHEM. Maybe you think I'm being too hard, but did you see any ads or hear any conversations in the media suggesting that maybe people shouldn't just vote for McCain because he's White? I feel like that was a LITTLE more relevant, seeing as we've never had a choice before, lol. I'm just saying. I didn't think it should be an issue at all, BUT, if it had to be, let's just leave it as "Please research your candidates. Don't vote for your president off of information that offers no testament to their ability to run a country."

I was also trying to explain my beliefs of race being an issue in this country in general by sharing some of my experiences (SO not a happy hour topic). For instance, having a kid tell me in school that she couldn't talk to me because I was Black. Having two White "friends" call each other the N word in front of me and think it's okay (oh man, another note in itself!), having a creative writing teacher at a private school in Boston say out loud "hmm...I wonder if the term Negro is still used..." and then having the whole class look at me for an answer. Or...the ambiguity of the term African American and how can you call me African American when I don't even know where I'm from? Yes, it is true, I have yet to be able to trace my family history further than a plantation or Native American soil. Maybe I'm "Cablasian" like Tiger! Lol, I couldn't possibly list all of these experiences. Then, we talked about how race and ethnicity is viewed in other countries in comparison to the United States, and we got into the talk of how one of our "White" friends was also a minority (having Latino roots), in trying to "relate." And hey, I am a firm believer in embracing all of your roots (not having the privilege of knowing my own), but dagnabit, people! There is a big difference between race and ethnicity in this country, regardless of what it is in the countries you represent and the cultures you grew up in! Here's the biggest difference I can come up with- and it goes hand in hand with my annoyance for the phrase "race card." Black is not a card I can wear in my back pocket, and flash on occasion, like "Oh, by the way, I'm Black." It's not this thing my dad can stick in his wallet to avoid being followed by suspicious employees in department stores or pulled over and demeaned by the police. If my father had a "Black" card, these wouldn't be things my father has come to expect. In this country, race is very Back and White.

Sorry, MAJOR digression.

Then there was topic of the "N" word and how Whoopi Goldberg had said on The View that she felt that only Black people should be able to say this word, whereas others felt as though no one should say it at all, blah blah. Now in all fairness, I had something to do with our conversation going there, having brought up my White friends and their love to use the word in my presence.

I never understood this N word argument. Mainly, because it, to me, represents an overwhelming desire to be included rather than a fight for the freedom of speech. When confronting my White friends about calling each other the "N" word, they argued the double standard and that if I could say it then they should be able to. Nevermind that I don't use it. Freedom of Speech? Really? No. It's a trend that they didn't want to be left out of. And I thought of how much that word has traveled in history, and as I stood there having a collegiate debate about whether or not they should use a word, I was thankful. I was THANKFUL! For all that word has represented in the "past", it reminded me of a couple things. For one, my Aunt, only one generation behind us, would not have been admitted into my university, or most others for that matter, simply because of her skin. Nevermind her abilities. It also reminded me of my brilliant Uncle Drexel (some years younger than my aunt) , who found out too late that he had been admitted to Princeto because his letter had been withheld from him. Hmm. Education was a far more important and relevant liberty than feeling like you're able to say a word. EDUCATION was a "trend I didn't want to be left out of." Bottom line, there are more important things.

Topics like these are not to be debated during Happy Hour because Happy Hour isn't long enough, and they are not topics that go along with the theme "happy!"

Believe it or not, I wasn't bothered by THESE conversations. I'd had them before. I just wasn't completely ENJOYing them, and I mean, again, they weren't my choice of good happy hour topics, but what did I know? I was new to Happy Hour, lol. I also want to point out that the main person I was talking to regarding politics was more than articulate in her reasoning, and I agreed or sympathized with a lot of the things she said, even coming from virtually different political views. I liked that she showed her interest in wanting to learn more, not wanting to spew off what she already knew. I truly appreciated that. It allowed room for well thought out point of views and room for enlightenment.

With that being said, I think what took me over was the topic regarding why AIDS was so high among African Americans in DC. The scenario sounded like the beginning of a joke. "A Republican and two Democrats were sitting at a bar..."

It's easy to misquote statistics. And I never feel equipped to argue them because I don't keep stats floating around my head about random topics to counter people's arguments, LOL. I mean, it's easy to mess stats up, as they can be confusing. But I do need clarity....

The stat that was thrown out is that one in three African American men in DC are living with HIV/AIDS.

That just didn't sound right to me, but I thought it could be due to my lack of AIDS awareness in DC. I know some info, but I could always know more. So I found some information from the Whitman-Walker clinic, which said that it s estimated that one in twenty adults in DC are living with AIDS/HIV. Because the majority of cases are in adults, I think it's safe to stick with that stat. So...that's five percent of the population. The census bureau has us at 588,292 people. So that's...out of approximately 467,000 (from the 2006 and 2007 census) adults 18+, there are about 23,350 reported cases of HIV/AIDS. . According to the most recent census, African Americans make up about 56% of the district's population. so...applying that number to the 18+ crowd, approximately 261, 520 African Americans are living in DC. Ok. So now split that at about 45/55 for difference of gender...more females than males...143,836 African American Males. Numbers are getting smaller! of the 23,350 cases of HIV/AIDS...approximately 72% of those cases are Male. So...about 16,812. Ok. Let's just PRETEND that all 16,812 of these cases are African American Males. That would mean (16,812/261, 520) would have to equal somewhere around 33%. Umm...so it equals 6.4, which is still WAAAY higher than it should be, but it's nowhere near 1 in 3. Did I do this right? Lol apparently not. Apparently, I overestimated the number of cases according to a study :

http://www.voanews.com/english/archive/2007-11/2007-11-29-voa35.cfm?CFID=69079090&CFTOKEN=15498391

Apparently, there are somewhere near 13,000 cases ALTOGETHER.

So my 6.4% conclusion is actually higher than the more accurate rate. My stats are using 2006-2007 census results while the article is from a year ago this month.

As we get closer to inauguration, I am constantly being put in a position that I truly am not qualified to fill. Just as I am not qualified to be the President of the United States, I am also not qualified to be Ambassador of the entire Black community. I cannot give you the "Black" perspective. In my opinion, it doesn't exist. I can, however, give you my perspective as a Black person, or person of color.

That gets me to my next point...

Some people choose to take the role as Ambassador and RUN with it. First, they must prove their citizenship, and then will proceed to state everything they know about the group they claim as fact not opinion. I understood the jump from AIDS to unprotected sex, but I don't know how the "ambassador" at our table arrived at the mentality of people from the poverty-stricken parts of DC, rap videos, and other crude pop culture references/common scapegoats that, as far as I was concerned, if such a philosophy applied, should have also explained the struggles and promiscuity of their media-absorbed Suburban counterparts. If this seems too random of a paragraph for you, imagine how I felt as this conversation was unfolding! And those of you who know me best know that I hate it when people from outside of the city talk about what they don't know about my city.

I am a girl from Uptown DC. Where I'm from is not who I am, but rather something about me. I have never lived in the ghetto/projects. I can't talk to that experience. I can tell you MY experience in Uptown. Not my neighbor's. MINE. Uptown is like a Primary Source at the library for me, but only my own account. The projects are strictly secondary. I hate it when people act as though they are an expert on an area or a group of people because they've been around them. Just because you do some community service in community that doesn't look like yours doesn't mean you can claim ambassadorship. Advocacy, yes! But if I was writing an article on the area, as a Journalist, I'd take the opinion of a long-time resident over a passerby.

Having this self-proclaimed out-of-"state" ambassador who had proved her citizenship to an unsuspecting audience looking to be enlightened by talking of her community work in the ghetto talk about why she believed that Black people had the highest rate of AIDS in the country rubbed me the wrong way on so many levels. It's like she read one science article and decides she's prepared to apply to med school!


As you can see, my thoughts as this happy hour conversation was going on were a thread of digressions that I, at the time, preferred to ponder and organize rather than debate or state them as fact. I've never felt like I was one who needed to be right that instant, rather, I preferred to be right after I'd done my research. During the presidential debates, throwing around erroneous or purposely skewed facts could give you the boost you needed...until the analysts tore them apart, lol. The people I've met who like to debate just for the fun of it don't seem to be concerned with whether they're right or wrong, but rather they're concerned with whether they "appear" right or wrong. I never feel like I know enough, which probably is what makes me a lousy debater. If I don't agree with the product, "I ain't sellin' it." And that, folks, is why I hate politics.

The End.

the foolishness of my life

so once upon a time someone called me cynical. being like a freshman in high school and dude being like 10 years older than me i had to holler at my Garfield webster dictionary, oh yes, Garfield had his own dictionary...so i find out tht def wasn't a compliment...anyway, nowadays i find myself laughing at any and everything. in some instances my sense of humor has left my mother embarrassingly shaking her head in public. i know i know laughing at handicap people should def give me a one way ticket to hell, i know. but i couldn't help it. it's foolishness, i'm foolish sometimes, but then again so is life. what's my point? i
have.
a
problem. and i kind of don't want help. laughter is another means for me to stay sane, because i swear if i didn't do it, i'll prolly be close to death. i'm no comedian, but every now and then i can crack a few people up, ok mostly my fellow foolish friends, but what can i say, the things and anonymous people that occur and cross my path make me act in such a way. i would blame it on my aunt, my stepfather, one of my best friends and my obsession w/ Martin (the show, not the man), but that wouldn't be fair, sort of. but anyway i decided to do this entry because of a funny and ignorant situation i had on myspace today. so this chick i don't know, had sent me mad annoying messages last year like week after week. i only responded to like the 1st 2 then just stopped. for some reason she got biligerant, idiotic and damn near crazy. so apparently i like her "man", i'm talking to her man, and what the hell?!?! like who does that? i thought u went from being new to the area from California to possibly seeing me back n the day at a church to having female issues and needing my advice(?!?!), i'm kinda lost w/ ur memory or sanity for that matter. so the chick for the 1st time in like months sends me a random ass message, and of course she uses her favorite vocabulary word, excuse me folks i don't do this often and nevr use this word:bitch. she's like 26, y act 16? who really gets buck via internet, where they do that at?? LMAO. and people wonder y i laugh at every dam thing, because of other ignorant people. see my triflingness is limited, but this fatal attraction stuff is utterly pitiful. i would respond to her message but y? SIDEBAR: i'm listening to slowjams on the radio and i swear there's this old song that's like 6 mins long and there ARE NO WORDS, but i love it.lol.....ok there are like 3 words tht are said somewhere n the song....
and who is ur "man"??? like am i supposed 2 have jus 1 guy's number n my phone, like c'mon drop a name, an initial, eye color, shoe size.lolol. i think the chick is psychotic, but nvrtheless she makes for a good laugh. oh the random and ironic thing about today's occurence i was walkin 2 class and DJ Iran was talkin bout tyler perry's stalker and asked ppl 2 call and talk about when they were stalked, u ever find urself laughing n public at a thought..yea i did that....and then she stalked hours later. LMAOLMAOLMAO i love my life

the trife of la television

so my friend and i are at work, doing anything other than and we get to wrappin about the usual mess we indulge in on television. this week's h.a.m (as she would call it), VH1's new Miss Rap Supreme. so we talk about the good rappers on the show and we talk about the messes: mostly Khia aka ms. my neck and my back. so we question:why in the world did they let her on the show? and then there's T-Pain's baby mama, Ms. Cherry and then there's a former female rapper's daughter. so we're like umm ok, shouldn't there be rules to this game? but nonetheless we plan on watching it next week and those to follow, because since America's Best Dance Crew finaled, what else is there? lol....

oh but wait there's more...i wasted 30 mins of my life to watch Flavor Flav's new show Under one Roof. i did say i wasted 30 mins right? acting was wack, plot was weak, concept, just str8 bafoonish. I can't lie i'm amongst the people who've revived the former Public Enemy hype man's career by watching all 3 Flavor of Loves, i'm sorry America, i couldn't help it....but yet again nonetheless, this show i will not watch next week. if it makes it to episode 3, it's because a lot of white people watched it. no offense...c'mon Flav get you're life together, i kno u got 7 kids but there are other ways 2 get paid, just ask Soulja Boy, Hurricane Chris, J-kwon aka mr everybody in the club get Tipsy (hmm where he at?), Paris Hilton, Kim Kardi, hell take your pick....

the G.R. experience

so growing up, i based a lot of my decisions on my religious beliefs, and i'm still doing that, but as days go by i want to try new things...even like getting a tattoo. i'm afraid of needles, but the idea that there is something that can permanently represent me as an individual for the world to see i think is remarkable in a sense..SIDEBAR: so today i went to the funeral of the chairwoman of the deaconess board, i swear yo Deaconess Gladys Robinson was str8 up the epitome of a Godly woman. my words can't even do justice and i'm a writer, that's how serious it is....u already are missed and in the choir loft lies your robe in rememberance of you..the service was beautiful but what i wouldn't give to hear you sing "Oh Zion"....damn.

small in stature
vast n heart.
blessed with gifted hands
fabrics formed patterns
as too was your style
unmatched, kinda like this dude's i know
the smile you wore like a sunday hat, like the ones L. Boogie spoke of once.
Yo, L how's the New York life?
this isn't about her, this is about her,
Gladys. one of the 12 foundations of the E. kind of like one of the 12 disciples.
they say 7 is the number of completion, i just say it's a number
your absence weighs heavy on hearts
specially the white-haired fellow
who you experienced love with
43.
i want to be like you, me and my love on 43.
years of marriage, of course not all bliss, but who cares? fools expect bliss, i expect reality.
and that is that you were n tht coffin, and we let out salty sadness.
the illness took you, but what we wouldn't give to take you back

6.29.32-4.8.08--Gladys Robinson

The D of M.A.A.D.

I don't even know why I'm trying to keep up with this blog when I can't even keep up with my personal one. Things are moving so fast nowadays...didn't we just graduate from high school? If I have any intentions of remembering any details from the past, it is in my best interest to WRITE THEM DOWN. No doubt. High school, and even some of college is beginning to blend together in my mind. I remember an event, and then I have to struggle to remember if it happened, freshman, sophomore...whatever it happened one of those years, lol.

However, granted that we're all on a serious grind, this is also a way to keep up with each other's lives as we attempt to leave our years of undergrad behind and join adulthood. Eww.

I'm learning more than ever that GW really didn't prepare for the real world as it relates to "being on my own." Unlimited utilities...water, electric, air conditioning, heat,cable, high speed internet...man I had it made in the shade in college. And then...undergrad ended, and...back home. I like home. Sort of. In theory, but maybe not really much. Lol I'm using all kinds of negatives...

Let's just say I was raised to be independent. And...well, I feel like it's time for me to be that way. Rent.com is one of my new favorite websites...even though I can't afford most of the places in DC that are listed on it. Whatever. I'll make something work.

Def gotta give it up to M for bein on her own. That's a type of grown I can only aspire to be at this point, lol. But I'll get there. We all will.

Yo, A! Hit us up with some stories from Italy!!

And A^2, you better get that tat idea finalized main, because that piercing is callin me. Well nevermind just got off the phone witcha guess we'll wait til all of our funds are flowin a lil better, lol.

I'll holla